Forwarded By:  Jamie Carte   Forward Yours at:
Posted on 07 Aug 2011 at 9:42am

Boss: Where were you born?
Philemon: Zimbabwe.
Boss: which part?
Philemon: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in Zimbabwe.

Philemon and his friend were fixing a bomb in a car.
Friend: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Philemon: Don’t worry, I have one more.


Philemon: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but it starts with ‘T’.
Philemon: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Philemon joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what Philemon did till evening.
Philemon: Keyboard letters were not in Alphabetical order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken.
Philemon: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Philemon: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Philemon: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to you.
Philemon: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ‘Radio Zimbabwe! ‘

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Philemon: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …..
Interviewer: shouts: Stop it.
Philemon: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup….

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Philemon: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Philemon: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.

Philemon: “You know somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on my windscreen, it said, ‘ parking fine’ So that was nice!”

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A successful man is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him. — -David Brinkley


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